1 month

 

Hello sunshine!

Today you are one months old! I don't know where the Time has gone, most nursing I'm guessing. It has been on of the most challenging month I've had but also the most exciting. Here's what happened this month. 

Highlights- this month, we had alot of first: first bath, first walk, first outing and first time meeting your extended family. At 10 days, we had your newborn pictures done. The pics turned out great. You are so photogenic already and cute. Everyone keeps telling me how beautiful you are! You have long thick hair, long fingernails, and deep baby blue eyes. You have my eyes and lips. You have your daddy's nose and eye color. I think you look at your daddy so far. :-)

Favorite moments with you- all our moments together are my favorite but especially these ones. I love when you smile, mostly after nursing. You don't smile much yet. When you do, It lights up my day and melts away the sleepless nights. This is your  dads favorite momment with you too. after nursing, i love our tommy to tommy time together, burping you. You sometimes fall asleep in my arms. I reminds me of the first time i held you and how wonderful it felt. Every time we have those moments I thank God for you, my sweet baby. 

Daddy time- he just knows how to soothe you like no one else. You can be in a full out cry and you stop when he starts to play with you. he really likes to play with you already. It's so fun to watch. He makes funny faces and all kinds of noises while he holds you. You give him curious looks back that make him laugh. He smiles really big when he plays with you. I love to watch you two together. 

Your Development- You are 8 pounds 10 oz and 21 inches! you measuring in the top 90% percentile for your height. it means that you will be a tall girl. The measurement of your head was 60% and your weight was 40%. The pediatrician made a joke that you'll be tall slender and have a lot of brains! Whatever you turn out to be, I know you'll be perfect the way you are.

Your stats-

Two weeks-

Height 21 inches (75%)

Weight 7'14 oz (45%)

Head 37 1/2 in/cm (60%)

One month-

Height 22 '14 inches (90%)

Weight 8 lbs 10.5 oz ( 55%)

Head 37 1/2 in/cm (53%)

Leap-leaps are the stages of growth you go through. Heres the leap you've experienced so far- "Everything indicates that during this leap your baby is experiencing a rapid maturation of metabolism, internal organs and senses. He is clearly more interested in the world around him and is now better able to look at things beyond the range of 20-to-30 centimeters. As a parent you notice that your baby is suddenly responding more to you and to others. Interesting note: your baby produces the first time or much more frequently than before, tears while crying."( I saw a tear! )

Nursing- you are nursing a lot! You are nursing every hour or two. That is good because you have a lot growing to do little one! It's not only the best food for you but also medicine to keep you healthy! I dont love nursing. I dont hate it either. i do love the time together and after it.  I am so thankful that we can. It didn't come easy. We definitely had to learn together. I couldn't have done it without help from our lactation specialist and a helpful book called, the womanly art of breast feeding from la leche league. It took about a month to really get down. For the first few times, It helped to time the feedings to know when to switch to the other side. It was usually around 15-20 minutes on one side before switching. This was good for me to help me know when I drained one side to prevent the plugged ducts I was getting. Thankfully they are gone! When ur done nursing, you'll make this cute powty face and put ur arm under your chin. You have this face that says, "I'm done mom!" I love it. 

This is how i learned to nurse and get a good latch.  I hope to teach you someday. It's so important to have your mouth wide open and have most of my areola to avoid inflection, etc. anyways, To start- take your hand in a c shape. And use it to squish your boob down flatter. Hold it like you hold a sandwich. My lactation consultant referred to it as the boob sandwich lol! Holding your boob sandwich, move it so that your nipple touches her nose. And tickle her nose with the nipple until she responds by opening her mouth in an upward position chin up. ( this will signal to her that it's time to open her mouth in the future once she gets it). At first she'll not open her mouth very wide. So keep tickling her until you see a big opening. Then put your boob as far as it'll go covering the areola so that most of the pink isn't showing. If it really hurts past 30 seconds, it's important to unlatch and try again. Long sharp pain is a sign of a bad latch. To unlatch, take your finger into her mouth to open and move your boob out. Then try again the steps above again until a wide opening. She'll get frustrated enough to open wide eventually. I had a great video demonstrating this and lost it! If I find it I'll send it to you! I wish I could see you in person! It's hard to describe. 

Challenges- there are a few challenges of being a mom especially a first time one. I think the biggest is learning how to nurse and take care of you. The lack of sleep is tough. I'm not much of a napper. I am definitely taking some now to stay insane. I try to sleep most of the time when you sleep. You aren't too bad at night. We only get up every three hours on a good night. I'm told that's pretty good for an infant! Nursing laying down at night has made me feel more rested. Sometimes well fall sleep together which I love. I'm trying not to take this time and this infant stage for granted. Even if ur crying and changing diapers get old, I love you and how little you are. I realize that I will never have this time with you again as an infant and to enjoy every minute.

Postpartum- i thought I'd write about postpartum. I wasn't planning on it. But I thought that it might help you when you get there. It took me by surprise how hard it is because you don't feel well. It's like recovering form a marathon and surgery at the same time. I think it feels that way because i had a tear. Lots of rest, protein, water and spitz baths have really helped me feel better. Thankfully, I've had a lot of help from your dad, the grandmas and church family. We're so blessed to have a strong support system. I don't think I could've done it without them. Finally after a month, I feel healed and feel like myself again. When I see you smile it's all worth it! 

What I've learned as a mom- just to go with it. be flexible. If youre sleeping let you sleep even if its with a poppy diaper. if youre hungry, let you eat even if its every hour. Ive learned to follow your lead. I cant control you. I can't make you eat or sleep when I feel you need too. I be learned to accept that I can't always soothe you when you cry sometimes. Ultimately, God is in control and he knows exactly what you need. He holds you in the palm of his hand. I've learned to trust him and let go. Learning these things is freeing because I enjoy you more!

Its been so fun watching you grow! You already are making a kinds of different noises that surprise us each day. you make cute new expressions always makes us laugh. i wish i could capture them all on camera! you are constantly looking around you and looking it things curiously. I can tell you will be smart because you are so alert and are a careful listener. With each day you smile more and more which I love. i look forward to each new day with you sweet baby girl!

Love you more than you know, 

Mom

Happy birthday my Sweet pea! Home birth!

Hello my sweet baby girl!

Happy birthday Alex! It's one of the most happiest days of my life! You are so beautiful! I can't stop looking at you! And holding you! You are the greatest gift from God that you dad and I have ever gotten! We are so privileged to be your parents! The greatest joy I've ever experienced is holding you and calling you my daughter. It puts a smile on my face every time! We are so grateful to have you finally come! You came a few days before my birthday! You are the best early birthday present that I could ever have! I'm so thankful that we can welcome you into the world with a beautiful peaceful environment, our very own home in a gentle, loving, natural, patient and so peaceful way. We are so thankful for a beautiful home birth! 

 

 My birth journey was much different as a mom than most in my day. Like many stories, your birth story started with mine. I was born very differently than you. Unlike a peaceful healthy birth you experienced, I was born at a hospital. I was born as an emergency c-section resulting an infection as newborn. I knew that I wanted better for you. I did not want a c-section for you. I wanted you to be born the safest, healthiest way possible which is vaginally. So I started on a journey for truth and research like crazy. I did not want a c section for you. I wanted to reduce my chances and risk for c section as much a humanly possible. I found out that epidural and inductions result in higher complications most commonly fetal distress from a  reduced heart rate resulting in c section. Vaginal natural birth are the best for the baby. Imagine that?! Lol. Thus, I had decided to do it naturally without medical tampering, just as God designed. I am so thankful I discovered this on my own. The obs I chated with grossly undermined the risks for complications. (Not all do but most do in my experience). As I later discovered, this is because they are surgeons. Unlike a midwive, they feel more comfortable with surgery and it's easily practiced in medical school. so I naturally grativated towards a practionars who'd support my decision. Along with the affordable price, this lead me to look for a midwife. I interview thousands it felt like. Overwhelmed, I turned to friend who've had home birth. Along with my research, I discovered the best midwife is one vast amount of experience with at least 100 births, preferable with education, certification of CNM, neonatal restitation training, leadership, and the ability to keep calm under pressure while still being compassionate. I narrowed down to just two: One was in the hospital and the other at home. The one in the hospital had limited experience. I also realized that if I had the temptation of the epidural right by me that I'd succumb to it, ( not out of pain just exhaustion). I realized the home birth midwife had more experience and met all my other qualifications along with high recommendations throughout the community. This decision to do it at home put me and your dad into a panic. There are a lot of negative stereotypes and misconceptions about birth  not to mention my own fear, I had to battle. So of course, I did what I always seem to do - go Into research mode. I discovered that natural un-tampered birth is quite safe and risk of complications are very low despite popular belief. I also found that homebirth is safe, legal, affordable, high success rate for breastfeeding, and not to mention so comfortable! A bonus! My birthing class hypnobabies also gave me more resources. There i learned that being comfortable in birth is so important to progress. I knew I wouldn't be comfortable in the hospital; thus my labor would stall and resulting in a c-section. At home, I knew I would be comfortable and have a more peaceful birth. I also found that the newborn care at home is safer, gentler. Despite what my family thought, I felt that this was what God was leading me to do. My peace from God Confimed this. Don't get me wrong. I was still scared! A verse comforted me during this time was -" 

I write all this so you know how much I love you. I want what best for you. I want you to know all the thought I went through, the preparation, and precaution. And the values and knowledge I'd like to past down to you someday. I am so thankful for the few women who encouraged me through this whole lonely process. 

As my pregnancy progressed into the later week, I really wanted the privalage to experience your birth. I wanted to be apart of it in the most intrical way possible. I was worried that wouldnt get to experience if I was in the hospital having a c section.  I've talked to women who didn't get to experience natural birth ever. It's so sad. They never knew what it's like. There's a sadness in their eyes like they missed out. It's one of life's most Impowering experiences that prepares women to become moms. As I was approaching 42.5 weeks, it was looking like my chance of a homebirth were decreasing which was disheartening. We relied on Gods timing and his plan. I knew that even if we had to go to the hospital, we were ready with a birth plan and that God would go before us either way. Looking back now Gods timing was perfect. He knew I needed the extra weeks to prepare. I didn't feel really at 40 weeks like my friends. I'm thankful for the extra two weeks to prepare physically and let you grow to your full potential. I'm so grateful that our midwife was patient unlike obs and some friends who were pushing for an induction. Thankfully, You came right when we turn 42.5 weeks! Enough pre natal talk, So get to the good stuff already! 

At last! here's how it went-

On that Tuesday, I woke up to a beautiful day. I had a great night sleep and felt good. Having a good night sleep was a huge answer to prayer. I so needed it. I kept thinking can't do this without a full night sleep. Besides your safety that was my biggest prayer. That morning, we went to our midwife appointment to check on you. We were hoping it would be our last appointment. We were getting worried. We had a few stress tests so we knew you were ok. But as I was approaching 43 weeks, we were running out of time. We were only a few days away from having to get induced. We were running out of options. So Cyndi did the last thing possible, a stretch and sweep. It is to help broaden the cervix and to coax you come out naturally. It was our last option for a home birth. This gave me really hard cramps. She had us go for a brisk walk which was he last thing I wanted to do. It was so necessary though. Your dad helped me along the whole walk. Afterwards, we went home. At home, I was just pretty strong cramps that afternoon. They were strong enough that I needed to lay down. At that point, cyndi wanted me to time the contractions or "pressure waves" throughout the day. It was really easy to with an app I downloaded. They came and went varying in intensity with no real pattern. Your dad was worried and wanted to come home. I told him I was fine but to come home early. Looking back, I think My body was secretly waiting for him to get home. Next time, I'm having him come home early! Lol. Maybe I would've birthed during the day? That would've been nice! Anyway when he got home, We had dinner like normal and were relaxing on the couch afterwards like usual.

That night, my water broke at 8 pm. It sounded like a pop. It kinda felt like a really hard kick. The noise scared me. It didn't hurt. I was way surprised, sacred, & really really nervous even shaking! I was super nervous since I knew you were really coming soon!  I didn't know if it was my water breaking or you kicking! I wasn't sure it was a water breaking because the discharge wasn't very much. i always thought it was more like a flood like in the movies! Lol. I guess thats just Hollywood not real life. Ha! By then, We called cyndi and she decided it was time to come over. 

A few hours later, my Contractions were picking up. They were getting stronger and more frequent. They were very intense and strong pressure. They were not painful- like little waves of stubbing your toe but in your stomach. not like unbearable pain let say from a broken foot. They felt like intense waves of constipation. It was very uncomfortable. It kept saying that I wanted to get comfortable and kept rolling over to find a comfy spot. Any position I was in was so uncomfortable. They took all my engery to stay calm and breathe through them. I wasn't able too even with changing positions. They were to the point that I wanted to stay in bed. It was helpful to breathe through them and not fight them. since I was gbs positive, cyndi started my antibiotics through an IV. It wasn't that bad. It was a little prick and more annoying.  It was nice to lay in bed while she was doing that.I couldn't move my arm for a bit. It didn't last long. I was more focused on the contractions which we called pressure waves.

Your dad was by my side every minute. He was just amazing. He was coaching and relaxing me every minute. He kept me focused on relaxing and speaking hypno scripts we've been practicing. He was so supportive and told me that i can do it. I couldn't have done it without him! I wanted to give up so many times especially when contractions got intense. Your dads confidence in me was what kept me going. His presence was my strength. I also broke down at Cyndi and told her that I couldn't go on. I wanted to give up. All She said is that i can do one more. She kept saying to me, "just one more"! She encouraged me to focus on that the whole time. It seemed do- able for me to look at labor like baby steps and made it not seem so overwhelming.

At this point, contractions felt almost on unbearable in intensity and pressure. But we kept deep breathing and relaxing through them. I used my voice to focus and feel more in control. your dad kept reminding me to use the deep vowel sounds that we learned in birthing class - ah etc. it was hard not to fight them and not intense up. It's kind of like stubbing your toe how it's hard not to lose it. Im glad i used this time to conserve my energy. Suddenly, I had this urge to have someone call the moms and photographer. They barely made it into the room! I loved having them there. But I felt like eyes were staring at me and also made the pressure to preform a lot more. However, I wanted to share the experience with them. To see a grandchild born is a special experience I hope I have someday!!

By that time, My labor slowed down from laying down too much. So cyndi suggested a new position. So i went into the bath. After a while, I got out. It just wasn't comfortable like I thought. I always pictured a beautiful water birth. but, I didn't like laying on my back in the tub. It didn't feel right in the water. The only position that I felt somewhat good in was laying down. so I got out and went back to the bed. As I was laying there, cyndi told me to  up and we ended up squatting on the floor. It was so uncomfortable there. I wanted to climb back in bed. I knew squatting is the best position for pushing you out so I went along with it. I could feel you coming like a burning sensation descending down.

All of a sudden, I felt like I wanted to push. It felt like wanting to pass a bowel movement. I felt super constipated. The contractions were different now and were less painful. Cyndi had me get up to use gravity to help get you out. So I was in a semi seated position on the floor holding on to the bed. I felt more supported that way seated on my legs. I started to feel more and more pushy. i didn't feel contractions. Cyndi let me know that it's a different game now- that I need to push and rest when I could. I pushed with all that I had. It felt like a intense workout! I was getting hot and sweaty. I rested when I could. it felt great to have a break and no intense contractions. I would feel waves a wanting to push and a lot of stretching down there. It didn't hurt. it was intense pressure and stretching. it was a little stingy on the outside of the skin. I pushed even when I didn't feel like it. Big mistake! But I wanted to be done so bad and was so tired. It felt like your head was already close. I was surprised you weren't out yet. So id push even longer and harder. I felt the ring of fire. It was like a tingling skin feeling. but i kept pushing. Cyndi said that she could see ur head! And all of a sudden, I felt this liquidy object and you gushed out so quickly. You were finally here!! Our midwife caught you. And there was a long pause as we were waiting to hear signs of life. It was the longest pause of my life! And then you cried and reached up like you were reaching up to find me. 

After your birth, I collapsed in his arms exhausted. Pushing was such a workout! Cyndi quickly handed you to me. You were so slippery from your vernix that I almost dropped you! I brought you to my chest. Meeting you and holding you for the first time was the most wonderful thing ever! I can't even put words to it. Holding you felt like soaking up loving sunshine on my much needed soul. Feeling your warmth and little body breathing felt amazing. I didn't want to let you go! I felt complete. And I couldnt take my eyes off of you! I was so stunned how beautiful you are! You were so pink and have beautiful skin! You had long hair and nails. You were born that morning 7 lbs 10 oz and 20 inches just like your dad! I was so relieved, exhausted, and thankful you were finally here. I could see your sweet face and hold you to my chest. It made it all worth it. It was the moment I was looking forward get to for a long time! I felt like crying tears of joy but was to exhausted. I kept soothing you by saying "mommy is here" over and over. I looked down and you were sucking your thumb! it was so cute!

 

After that, I thought I was done. Yay you were here! But cyndi informed me that we still had the placenta! I said-"Oh you got to be kidding!" Thankfully it was way easier. After delivering the placenta, They moved me to the bed where I held you to my chest. It was so I increditable  to be in my own bed relaxing with my new daughter and dear hubby. It felt so surreal. I'll i wanted to do was hold you close. I was loving our skin to skin time there to. In those moments, I felt complete. I couldn't let you go. I didn't want it to end! In this picture, we are nursing for the first time! Thankfully, Cyndi showed me how to nurse laying down which was a total life saver. I kept having really strong contractions after birth. So laying down to nurse was such a relief. I was so so exhausted. Thankfully, the wonderful surge of endorphins kicked in and was incredible kick of energy. 

Wow, it's so hard to describe all the flurry of emotions. It was awfully beautiful and challenging. I am so blessed that I had this amazing birthing experience. It was an answer to prayer. It is the hardest thing I've ever achieved. I have so much grown from this experience as more confident woman, reall a birth of a new mom. Birthing prepared me to become your mom and strengthened you to come in to the world healthly. It prepared me to be a mom in the best way possible. I understand why cyndi favorite quote is-“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers--strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” Cyndi was right! She's was so proud of me. And your dad!! 

I am so thankful your birth went so peacefully and smoothly. I am proud that we did it naturally like God designed. We are so thankful you were ok and had no complications. We were so relieved that you finally came on your own without inducing and that didn't have to make that tough decision. Cyndi mentioned that you didn't show signs of being overdo. So it was so good that we waited until you were ready. Otherwise you would have been born premature, low weight and probably been in the neque. we are very relieved and it was a huge answer to prayer! We had it pretty easy- labor was only 8 hours and pushed for only 30 minutes. Then you were here! 

 Your dad and i couldn't be happier that you're here and our new lives together. Were family now which is a dream come true for me. I see him looking down at you and i can see the un descriptable love he has for you even with the challenges of being a new parent. With you in our lives, We both have fallen more in love with each other all over again as we love you. Thank you for making us parents.  It's the best hardest thing we've ever done! We are so excited to watch you grow. get so emotional just thinking how much i love you and what a blessing you are in our lives. Love you so much sweet pea! More than you'll ever know! 

Happy beautiful birthday to us sweet baby girl!

Mom

41 weeks! Over due and ready!

Hello baby A!

As you can tell by the tittle, I'm finally feeling ready this week to have you! I am excited that you could come at any minute. Me and ur dad joke that you'll slide right out. I feel done, ready, and wanting a vaginal natural birth. last week, I didn't feel ready. It's funny how it changed in a week!

Right now, I'm dilated to a one. my cervix has softened and moved to the front. Cyndi, the midwife says that you have dropped down. its encouraging that my body is showing signs of preparing for birth. It helps me with the doubt about our due date calculation. Also today, She has done a stretch and sweep to prepare my cervix. It hurt. My relaxation techniques helped me through it.

Other physical changes that I've noticed are in my breasts. I got stretch marks on them. :-( they are darkening and aortas are larger preparing for nursing. It's encouraging to see these changes. I hope it's a sign that we can breast feed really well. I've heard it's hard! So I'm doing a lot of research now. I hope it helps us to a good start.

We are doing everything Cyndi suggests to get u out- prim rose oil, sex, walking, five week formula, and today castor oil (only since I'm dilated now). Castor oil really sucks. I've had diarrhea and strong cramps. Some people swear by it. No contractions yet though. Well see if it works.

People have the funniest things that they think is the ticket to labor. Me and ur dad have heard pineapple, Chinese food, yoga, sex, and all kinds of crazy things. We have a theory that people say whatever they had right before labor started. It's just coincidence. Labor would've started anyway.

I feel like such a freak for going to 41 weeks (and almost 42). I have to remember the bell curve of birth is between 38-42 weeks. So this is normal despite the harassment from everyone. I can see why people lie about their due date. I don't mind if its -I'm praying or thinking of you. I don't like the - baby here yet question every day. It puts on pressure to have you. We want you to come when you are ready and fully developed. We don't want to jump to high risk inducing drugs unless its medically necessary. It is crazy how some moms get induced before their due date just because they are uncomfortable. I hope that we don't have to induce at all. Of course we'd do anything that needed to be done if you were in distress. Thankfully, cyndi has kept a close eye on you to make sure you're not in distress. We've had quite a few stress test and a biophysical profile ultrasound done to check on you. You passed with flying colors! It hard to to worry about you and so relieving when you've passed ur tests! Good job!

Nursery update- it is done! I painted the last canvas and finished a button project for the wall art. Even the chair has arrived. I'm thankful for that. I hoping it will help rock you to sleep and with nursing. Your dad loves that chair. I caught him snoozing in it and few times. it might be hard to boot him out of it.

I also feel like I finished my baby bucket list. (No offense). This is a list of things to do before u come that you can't do once you have a newborn. Most of it is doing things with your dad just to spend time with him. I've enjoy our mini dates. We've gone to a few movies and dates out this week just the two of us. Most of the stuff are dumb, empty, and giving them up is no big loss. It's worth giving up for you in our lives.

I am so excited to be your mom. I want it so bad. I can't wait to take care of you and teach you what I've learned. And have fun! I am so thankful that you'll have an awesome dad who will teach you his great qualities and character. It's so rewarding to know that you'll have a better home life than I've had growing up. I want you to have Gods best!

I hope you come soon! Love u!


Mom

Happy due date! 40 weeks!

Happy due date Little One! Today is special! Today you are due -April 8 th! This is the day I have been looking forward to for 9 months because I will see you soon!

I have been taking it easy this week. I have been trying to get a good nights sleep before you come. Our midwife says is important to keep my energy up for birth. And I am trying to have some fun too. We went to the pool again and it felt great to get some vitamin d. Mostly this week, I have been cleaning, cooking freezer meals, reading la leche, and shopping for your nursery. I feel like we have the greatest house guest coming! I need to have the whole house in sparkling and make it more homey for your arrival.

The nursey is still not done yet. I was hoping to finish it. It's mostly missing just the wall art. I know that being mentally and physically ready is more important than how a room looks. I can see how women get wrapped up in decorating instead of focusing on whats important-educating themselves about birth and breast feeding. I feel that this time is good to learn as much as I can how to be a good mom and take care of you. I'm sure that I will learn a lot along the way. I think it's good to take advantage of the quiet time I have now to read and learn.

No sign of you yet. I haven't felt any Braxton hicks. I've had a little cramping while walking. Its hard to tell between a muscle cramp. I haven't made it to my five miles a day. But since I'm not at work, I've been moving around more. And so have you (when you aren't sleeping)! I think you're running out of room in there! You keep rolling and stretching like you're trying to get comfortable and i'm trying not to get nervous about Labor and gbs. your dad is calm and collected like always. i am so thankful for that. he reminds me that God will take care of us and its not a big deal. i need to keep focused on The Lord. A verse that has spoken to me- " i sought the lord and he answered me and delivered my from all my fears." I don't fear anymore about myself or labor. I fear more for your health. I know that I have done all,that I can to be healthy and the rest is in God"s hands. i try to stay positive and practice my hypnosis (deep relaxation techniques). i keep visualizing a great birth in the water in candle light and the joy of having you in my arms! it makes me tear up every time! i don't think you can stretch out in there like you're used to. We keep joking- that you'll come just because you're getting too squished in there!

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm miserable. they say that they were miserable in the last two weeks of their pregnancy. I feel great! I don't know if its because I've stayed at a healthily weight and been active. Or if its because, I have had an easy pregnancy. Don't get me wrong. The symptoms do get old -the backaches, heartburn, lack of sleep, knees hurting, and hot flashes. They aren't that bad. I have realized that a lot of things in pregnancy and labor are exaggerated. I think alot is what you make of it. hitting 9 months, it did get a little harder. but i wouldn't say miserable. Sometimes I forget that i am even pregnant until I feel you move. When I do, it makes me smile every time! It is so awesome to even see and feel it on the outside!

Since I'm passed my due date, People ask me when I will be induced. Most first time moms are late. So it is normal and I fully expected To be. It is strange that only days after the due date people jump to high risk drugs like pitocin as the first option without trying natural remedies. I hope we don't have to make that tough decision at all. we still have time before that. it seems the majority of doctors are quick to induce and tamper with the birthing process instead of trying natural options. I wish that doctors are more open and honest about the side effects of the drugs that they use. As a parent, It's help me realize that I need to ask the doctor about procedures, drugs, and their belief systems before proceeding on any treatment. I need to understand risks and the big picture before they do anything on you. It's been a good lesson I've learned about parenting in pregnancy. I've always jumped to doctors and drugs at the littlest of colds without question. And I wonder why I have such a bad immunity system. Lol! I have changed for the better. I want to be different for you and raise you differently than that. I hope that this will inspire you to make informed decision for you and your babies.

i'm trying not to get nervous about Labor and gbs. your dad is calm and collected like always. i am so thankful for that. he reminds me that God will take care of us and its not a big deal. i need to keep focused on The Lord. A verse that has spoken to me- " i sought the lord and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." I don't fear anymore about labor. I fear more for your health. I know that I have done all that I can to be healthy and the rest is in God"s hands. i try to stay positive and practice my hypnosis (deep relaxation techniques). i keep visualizing a great birth in the water in candle light and the joy of having you in my arms! it makes me tear up every time!

I know that you will have a beautiful birth story. I can't wait to share with you about your amazing birth. Your grandpa loves to tell my dramatic birth story. I was born with a c section and a serious inflection that could have been life threatening without treatment. After Hearing my scary birth story, it motivated me to find the best for your birth and health. i wanted you to be born the best, healthiest way possible. so that, you can have a great start in life. I started doing research on c sections. i found that it increases risks of serious conditions and overall more complications for the baby ( and mom too). I decided that I didn't want you to be born that way and start looking for ways to minimize the chances of c section. I am thankful it is there in case of fetal distress, like my birth. In my research, I found that drugs used in labor increases fetal distress and the chances of c section (if they even work). So I didn't want that for you. I am not anti drug. Medicine and drugs are for the sick. being pregnant is natural by Gods design. we are created wonderfully for birthing. its not a sickness that needs treatment, unless distress.

I can't tell you how many hours of research and birth stories I've heard to help me along that way. I decided to go natural which is very strange in culture today. Its hard to find support. I really cherish the women who have and check up on me. Your dad has been the biggest form of support and believes we do this naturally. I am so thankful to have him in my life. He is my rock (after The Lord of course). I know that you'll love him as much as I do. I hope you take after him in many ways.

My appetite has really sky rocked lately. it makes me think that youre trying to get gain more weight before coming and that you need another week to develop. I've had weird cravings for greasy tots and still the maple donut which I'm saving. :-) I think you're dad is enjoying the junk food I've been craving for a change. I cook pretty healthy. So it's kinda a treat for him. We had a great date at Oscars and of course we got dessert. He loves the carrot cake there. We got it free from the waiter as a pre birthday present to you! It was a special night. Me and ur dad had such a wonderful fun date. He made me laugh the whole time. I will remember it for a long time.

Got to go. Love u!

Your Mom

Creamy Strawberry smoothie-Protein packed pregnancy smoothie!

Hello y'all!

Just had to share this strawberry smoothie that I love! I was craving something similar to a shake without the sugar! It's packed with protein and low carb! It's great for pregnant women who need all the protein and calcium that they can get! I am guessing that there is around 15 grams of protein roughly! Here it is-


Creamy Strawberry smoothie

1 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup soy milk ( plain unsweetened)
2/3 cup plain Greek yogurt (great value is a good brand)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon agave
Pinch of powdered stevia or to taste ( Nustevia is the best without the bitter taste)

Blend and enjoy! You can chill it in the freezer for a bit if you like it icier!

Substitutions -
I've been omitting the agave and just using stevia. Since its a good brand, it doesn't need the agave. Greek yogurt gives it a thicker consistency. It's also not too sour so it doesn't need a ton of sweetener. Your dad likes more of a citrus favor than creamy. So I've added orange juice instead of the milk. He loved it! 

Enjoy!

Lanie

39 weeks!

My precious one,

Happy 39 weeks little one! It's pretty awesome that I get to see you for the first time soon in less than a week! At this point, its only four days! It's like the whole world is smiling down on us. Lol. I go to the grocery store and people smile as I walk by. Some people even congratulate us. People are really nice sometimes.

I've really enjoyed looking down and not only feeling you move but seeing it from the outside too! Me and your dad are getting good at guessing where your back and legs are! I love feeling his hands on my belly. a few times, you kicked his hand like you knew it was him! Your movements have been pretty strong lately. Sometimes it hurts! it makes me glad that you are getting strong and ready for birth when ur ready. Mostly rolling and stretching I think. You still like to play with my right rib. ;-)

I keep telling our dog, Cash that "the baby is coming!" He always looks at the front door. i tell him "No here" and point to my belly. he tilts his head to the side and gives me this puzzled look. It's hilarious. Boy, he's in for a shock! Me and dad joke that we are cooking up a little playmate for revenge. He hasn't been a bad puppy but still a puppy!

We made a splash this week and quite a seen at the pool! My yoga teacher talked about how good it felt to swim while she was pregnant. She had a summer pregnancy which is crazy! With the weather getting nice and for once its actually getting hot already to me, I decided that we'd go swimming. I didn't want to buy a maternity swimsuit. As you'll discover, I am über cheap! Well sometimes I guess. So I just decided to wear my bikini. Dad thought I was crazy. I have to say - we don't look bad in a bikini. I don't have stretch marks on my belly. The people at the pool were quite shocked too. Around here, it's kinda not acceptable to wear a bikini in the Lds religion and deemed not modest. As you'll find out we aren't religious just spiritual. I grew up wearing a bikini In cali. So it's normal and most comfortable for me. I think I wear it in a modest way. i don't feel it going against my Walk with God. Anyway, swimming felt so good! It was so nice to feel weightless and easier on my joints. It was nice and cool. It felt good to warmed up in the sunshine. I felt instantly better. i guess We needed good old vitamin D!

Exercise update- I have been doing the usual walk in the morning and yoga every week. It's been easier to extend our walks a little now that im home. I have this goal to work up to 5miles a day! I had a little trouble gaining weight mostly because I'm not hungry. so I've been working up to it slowly. A neighbor asked if its to start labor. But it's not. I just want to be healthy for you and it helps labor to go quicker. It trying to tone the muscles in my uterus.

I've had no cravings really to name. Nothing really has sounded good since the third trimester. sometime I'm not even hungry. it makes it hard what to decide to cook for dinner. I have enjoyed my creamy strawberry smoothie. It tastes like a milkshake but healthier. I make it with soy milk. It's got no sugar and tons of protein about 25 grams (estimated)! Its a yummy way to pack in the protein we need, 75 grams per day! I have been going for wraps too lately. I buy these sprouted grain tortillas and make yummy chicken wraps out of them! It's easy and cheap way to use left overs. It doesn't taste healthy. I'm glad it is!

Sleep has been very hard lately. I only get a few each night. I wake up to either heart burn, hungry, snuffed nose or just plain too hot. Your dad has been very patient with me waking him up every night. It's hard going to work without good sleep. I'm naturally kind of wired. So losing one night sleep is do -able. Any more than that is tough! I hope you are a better sleeper than me. Hopefully you'll get that from dad. I know that it's preparing me for the nights up with you.

Me and your dad had a great date this week. We went up to Oscars and had dinner in Springdale. It's a cute town with beautiful scenery of Zion national park! We had our favorite waiter who remembered us and what we like to order. We had great food and a lot of laughs. It was fun getting out with your dad and joking around with him. It reminds me why I love him so much. Everyone at the restaurant was congratulating us. there was a fun couple with their 5 month old who we ended up talking too most of the night. they were very nice and encouraging about having kids. later we got free desert as an early your bday present! Your dad loves the carrot cake there. It was a great date that I will cherish.

No sign of you yet. But it could be any day that I meet you! And we pray that you are healthy and safe.

Love you baby girl,

Mom